Can you develop this poem further?


One of the most prolific poets at WorkInWords, 'Loot', is working on a poem called 'Buying Time'. He is asking for your help to develop to the content, form, or performance of the work. He is content for you to (re)shape the text and experience of the poem. You are invited to (re)shape as you wish.


Buying Time

First section

So I discovered there’s a time bank, where you can buy some time.

It’s all been legalised because time hoarding was becoming a crime.

Interestingly this isn’t just future eons, but any time I have lived.

All concepts of past and present gone, I need never to be outlived.

The pricing structure is a bit tricky, but hey, I thought I have a go.

I wasn’t sure if I’d be living the time or watching it, like a show.

But the bank said it’s a complete relive and it’s added to your life.

If you’re going to mess around, take out insurance, to cover strife.

The issue is, the further back you go, the more you have to pay.

From a point in time it’s just pro-rata, so I thought I’d buy a day.


Second section, first draft

So then I got thinking, well when and why, what are my motives?

What am I setting out to achieve, what’s my ultimate objective?

Do I want to change what happened or just relive the best of me?

Do I want see what I could have been or just relive what I will be?

I made my choice, I paid my premium, I experienced and I learned.

Too scared to change, I lived again, the day for which I most yearned.

It was the safer bet and the insurance premium was relatively cheap.

Now I’ve got two memories, of the same day, to dream of as I sleep.

But they are different, the old one is rose tinted, the new, much darker.

The old one is nicely hazy but in the new one, the angles are far sharper.

I suppose this is a tale of woe, as I used to yearn to be there again.

Now having been there, I know, that I in future, I must simply refrain.

I thought I get extra time, double the joy and a panoramic display.

But I paid, I’ve relived, I re-remembered and now I’ve lost a day.


Second section, second draft

I didn’t want to just relive, I wanted to change what was bad.

I wanted to make light of some dark experiences I felt I’d had.

I wanted to change something I pulled away from and regretted.

I wanted to indulge myself, be completely experience unfettered.

I paid a vast insurance premium and completely sexed the day up.

I indulged, I abused, without consequence, from life’s cup, I did sup.

I suppose this is a tale of woe, as I yearned to change my actions.

Now having been there, I know, the true cost of that impaction.

My insurance paid out, my people are safe, I cared, after all is said.

I didn’t read the small print, it’s hard to feel good, when I am dead.

.........................


You can send your suggestions for your ideas for the development of Loot's poem to editor@workinwords.net and I will pass them on to him. Please title the email 'Interactive Poetry: Loot'. We look forward to hearing from you.

More people are writing and thinking about work-based poetry. Does this poem make you think of anything? Send your thoughts to editor@workinwords.net.

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If you would like to make a recording of one of the poem on WorkInWords, click here to find out how.



Image used in Article by Antonia Wilson, "10 of the world’s best virtual museum and art gallery tours", The Guardian, March 23rd 2020

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